Life after divorce for anyone can be challenging. Emotions go up and down like a roller coaster, and the whole process can be extremely overwhelming. We have put together a list of tools in order to be a support to women who are recently divorced woman. If you’re like most people, you may find it difficult to navigate life without the “routine” of marriage.
The realization that you are single again can be scary. You will be left to make decisions on your own that you used to make with your spouse.
When you get divorced, it may feel like the life you have worked so hard for is slipping away from you faster than a blink of the eye. Some divorces are amicable, but many aren’t. Even more so if you are having to manage the dynamics of a high conflict divorce with a narcissist.
You may feel like you were the one that tried to “make things work” only to hear the words “I want a divorce” from your spouse. This can be devastating.
Whatever the case may be, it’s natural to feel melancholy and lonely when you get divorced. Financial stress can also intensify these tough emotions. You can not dodge these emotions. You have to deal with them in a healthy manner.
In this article you’ll read about:
- The grieving process/self-care after a divorce
- Seeking professional help such as counseling
- Financial independence
- Dating after divorce
The Grieving Process
When you get a divorce, there is a grieving process that you will go through. It is easy to beat yourself up by thinking you should just “get over it” quickly. Take your time and don’t be ashamed about it.
You got used to the lifestyle of being married, and the life you worked for with your spouse is no longer there. It does not matter if you were the one who wanted to get the divorce, you are still going to grieve.
Do not avoid your emotions. Grieving will actually help you feel better. You do not have to mourn your loss — you can let go one day at a time. If you do not grieve, you will not fully accept the fact that you are divorced.
Mourning the end of your marriage does not mean you have to sink into a hole of utter despair. It means being gentle with yourself.
It is okay to take some “self care” days. For example, you could schedule some specific days where you take time to watch movies, enjoy the spa or take a walk in the park — carve out time for yourself.
Allow Your Friends to Be There For You
When your divorce is finalized, it is easy to think about being divorced 24/7. Getting stuck in your head can lead to serious depression and cause you to isolate. Reach out to your friends so they can help you get out of your head.
Many of your acquaintances may bring up your divorce when you are out in public. Questions like “How are things since the divorce?” can trigger difficult emotions.
Let your close friends know that you do not want to constantly talk about the divorce. A strong support system made up of your friends will then make it a point to steer conversations in a different direction.
Good friends will build you up by telling you how strong, beautiful, and unique you are. However, you have to make the effort to reach out to them. You have to pick up that “500 lb. phone” no matter how hard it may seem some days.
Strong emotions that often come after a divorce can lead you to make rash decisions. Your friends can help you navigate these emotions.
Talk to a Therapist
After your divorce, you may feel stuck and not know where to begin. Find a therapist with whom you can meet regularly. A licensed professional can help you take “baby steps” at the beginning of your new life.
Therapy sessions can also provide a safe space where you can completely express yourself without feeling judged.
If you have children, the divorce can have an adverse impact on them. They might start acting out at school, or their grades may begin to drop. In this case, you may want to find a play therapist for your children as well.
How your children deal with emotions around the divorce can impact the rest of their lives.
Don’t Give Up
People live a very meaningful and happy life after they get divorced. It may seem easier at times to “throw in the towel” when you get divorced. Do not create your whole identity based on the pain of losing your marriage.
You have a great life ahead of you, but you must become the hero of your own story. Take it upon yourself to find role models who have successfully gone through the same thing.
If you have children, they need to see how you overcome your struggles. This does not mean you will not ever feel depressed. It means that no matter what, you do not give up.
Financial Independence
If you want to have a better life post-divorce, financial independence is a must. This is another area where you may want to seek professional help by consulting a financial advisor. Get on a budget, and try to stick to it.
Even though you are trying to get financially independent, don’t let your pride get in the way if a family member wants to help you get on your feet for a little bit.
Get Back Out There!
Although you want to grieve the loss of your marriage, do not let it keep you from engaging in social activities.
You may feel somewhat out of place only hanging out with your married friends. Make it a point to find new single friends. You could also make a profile on a reputable online dating site.
You do not have to set out to find your soul mate immediately. Go out for coffee or a dinner date with someone new and have some fun!
Contact Our Texas Divorce Attorney for Advice Today
JulianJohnson, P.C. offers personal attention to people in need of family law attorneys in Flower Mound, TX, and the surrounding cities.
If you need help with an issue like sexual harassment, Jared Julian can help — he has been helping families for more than a decade and is also a licensed mediator.
This makes him a professional in settling family disputes. As an experienced family mediator, he listens to both sides and makes an informed decision that is in the best interest of all parties.
Mr. Julian and his team of experienced family law attorneys are available for a consult. Contact us today.
When faced with a heated situation such as the dissolution of a marriage, call a lawyer with compassion, knowledge, and experience with the legal system.
