Dealing with a divorce is rarely easy, even if you and your spouse decide on an uncontested divorce.
If your spouse is a narcissist, the divorce process may not only be difficult, it can be extremely traumatic. A narcissist wants to win at everything they do, at any cost. Working with a highly skilled divorce attorney can give you the guidance and support you need.
You want your narcissistic spouse to reveal their true personality in court, and an experienced divorce lawyer will know how to bring that about. This can compel the court to rule in your favor.
In this article you will read about:
- What to expect from a narcissist during the divorce process
- Tips to prepare for the divorce process
- Mediation
- Protecting your children and parental alienation
What to Expect from a Narcissist During the Divorce Process
A narcissistic spouse is going to fight you over every little thing, no matter how trivial. A narcissist will not ever admit when they are wrong. In their mind, they are incapable of making any mistakes. They are also under the belief do not ever fail at anything.
No matter the circumstances your narcissistic spouse will blame you for the marriage failing. They have a self-inflated ego to protect, and they will use whatever resources they need to do so. They are going to use your friends, family children, assets, and property against you.
A narcissist should never be underestimated. Whenever your guard is down, they will pounce on the opportunity. Again, this is why you need help from an experienced divorce lawyer.
Tips to Help You Prepare for the Divorce Process
One thing is for sure, you need to start preparing as soon as possible for the battle ahead.
Here are some tips:
- All encounters with your spouse need to be documented. Try to communicate with them via email or writing. If you talk on the phone, have a pencil and paper ready to record the date, time, and what’s discussed. If you are able to record the conversation, that’s ideal.
- Be prepared for an expensive divorce that will be drawn out. A narcissist will be more than willing to spend as much as they need to make the divorce process difficult and ultimately “win” in their mind.
- Document any time the both of you spend time with your children. Your narcissistic spouse may constantly boast about how they spend way more time with the children than you do. However, the case may be that they are always missing visitations or the children’s events i.e. sports games, parent/teacher night, etc. Documentation can help your attorney when they cross-examine your narcissist spouse. This will show the court the fallacies in your spouse’s thinking.
- Your spouse may have primary custody of the children. Document any time they deny access to your children. This is useful information, as your spouse may try to alienate you from the children.
- A list of witnesses should be made as soon as possible with the help of your lawyer.
- Don’t take the bait. Your spouse will try to rile you up and draw you into heated arguments. Remain calm and let your lawyer do their job.
Mediation
It is very unlikely that mediation will be an option with a narcissistic spouse. A narcissist is incapable of putting themselves in anybody else’s shoes, as they lack empathy. To them, there is no reason to negotiate, as they are always right.
They are the hero of their own story, and anybody that thinks differently is an antagonist. Lacking empathy and sympathy, your narcissistic spouse is unlikely to acknowledge any of your needs. From their point of view, anything that you’re upset about is your fault, so you should suffer as a result of your actions.
Protecting Your Children and Parental Alienation
Your narcissistic spouse must win at anything they are doing. They will use anything and everything to achieve victory. They will only be interested in themselves and whatever it is they want.
Once again, do not underestimate your narcissistic spouse; especially when it comes to divorce. They are likely to use your children as instruments to punish you. Narcissists can be extremely manipulative as they are often very charming. They can fool adults and children alike.
Your spouse may attempt to get the children on their side. Being a narcissist, your spouse will probably say things to the children to try and turn them against you. Parental alienation is a tactic that’s frequently used by narcissists who are going through a divorce.
Narcissists are extremely emotional, and when they feel like they are losing control they get angry. This anger won’t always just be directed at you. They may begin to take their rage out on your children.
If you realize that your children have been yelled at or physically hurt in any way, you need to take immediate action. They may also disparage you in front of your children. These behaviors are grounds for filing a petition with the court. At that time, your children may be appointed an attorney(s) by the court.
Keep track of angry texts or recordings of your spouse getting angry at the children. You will need them to show that your spouse is overly emotional. If they don’t get help and stop these behaviors, they will probably lose parenting time.
Divorcing a narcissist will not be easy. Hiring an experienced divorce lawyer is a must.
Contact Our Texas Divorce Attorney for Advice Today
JulianJohnson, P.C. offers personal attention to people in need of family law attorneys in Flower Mound, TX, and the surrounding cities.
If you need help with an issue like divorcing a narcissist, Jared Julian can help — he has been helping families for more than a decade and is also a licensed mediator.
This makes him a professional in settling family disputes. As an experienced family mediator, he listens to both sides and makes an informed decision that is in the best interest of all parties.
Mr. Julian and his team of experienced family law attorneys are available for a consult. Contact us today.
When faced with a heated situation such as the dissolution of a marriage, call a lawyer with compassion, knowledge, and experience with the legal system.
