Divorce is difficult no matter the circumstances. There are a lot of moving parts that can take a professional to navigate.
That being said, many people have it in their heads that divorce has to be messy, that you have to go into the courtroom and air all your dirty laundry for the world to see.
As much as TV would have you believe, divorce doesn’t have to go this way at all. In fact, there’s a common method of avoiding the courtroom entirely called mediation.
Mediation—Avoiding an Adversarial Approach
In many cases, especially in the movies, you’ll see an adversarial approach to divorce. That means that both parties are fighting to get the most out of the situation. There’s anger and resentment. There’s disagreement on who should get what.
Basically, you’re both fighting each other like adversaries in a battle. Not only does this lead to high expenses (the more time your attorney has to put in to help you get what you want, the more it costs), but it also leads to bad feelings and resentments that can bleed into your post-divorce life, and even into your children’s lives.
Not only that, but you might find yourself spending a lot of time in the courtroom if you and your spouse are fighting over every last dollar and piece of furniture. More time in the courtroom means more time away from your children.
And if you’re fighting over custody, your children can be impacted. The bad feelings that you and your spouse have for each other can affect your relationship with your children for years, if not the rest of their lives.
Mediation attempts to avoid these problems. You work with a mediator to find solutions that both you and your spouse can live with.
Working with a Neutral Third Party
Your attorney is not a neutral party. Their goal is to help you win. They might not take a hardcore adversarial approach, but they still want you to feel like they’re on your side— you always want to have someone in your corner advising you on what’s best for you during a divorce.
A mediator is a neutral third party. Their goal is to help you and your spouse find common solutions. They use a collaborative approach that engages you both and attempts to set aside anger and resentment to find the best solutions for both parties.
Mediation doesn’t always work. Sometimes one party or another is stubborn and won’t budge on an issue. Sometimes negotiations just fall apart. Although at JulianJohnson, P.C. we have a 95% mediation success rate. We are experienced in family law mediations and know what it takes to work with parties and their attorneys to achieve the best possible outcome.
The mediator’s job is to find a solution to help keep both parties out of the courtroom, and to find ways to make everyone, if not happy, then at least satisfied with the outcome.
Not everyone is happy with the outcome of a divorce, but through mediation, the emotional impact can be lessened as both parties are given the chance to express their feelings and be heard by the mediator.
Mediation Is Not Free
Mediation can be an investment, but it often can be more expensive to go to court. In fact, mediation is almost always less expensive than going to final trial in a court.
Attorneys bill for all their time, so the more times you end up in court, the more times you and your spouse argue and refuse to come to an agreement, the more money you end up spending.
Mediation can often solve in a session what might take months through the court. What determines the cost of mediation is the number of sessions it takes to work everything out, so mostly this depends on you and your spouse and the circumstances you need to work through.
More importantly, mediation allows you and your spouse to work your way through issues the way both of you want to, and not the way a court decides, which can often be arbitrary.
Once everything is decided, everything goes into writing, and then the final paperwork is submitted to a judge.
At JulianJohnson, P.C. we are able to provide in person and virtual mediation solutions.
Learn More About Divorce Mediation
Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences of your life. Don’t go through it alone. Contact us today to learn your options, including mediation, so that we can find the solution that works best for your situation. We are currently providing in person and virtual mediation options. Contact us to learn more about family law mediation.
